And Now: Lent
Granted, I recognize now that that seems silly. I realize now that I allowed that physical glass barrier to be my excuse to not fully engage in worship. But that barrier was still there psychologically. There would be times where I would want to go into the sanctuary, but the doors would be locked. Right there, this glass wall was a physical representation of a barrier between me and where I perceived God to be in those moments.
I guess it's no wonder why then that, in Matthew 17:1-9, Peter wanted to make a shrine for Jesus, Elijah, and Moses and stick around that mountain top. He was in a place where there were no perceived barriers between him and the divine. Here was a literal mountain top experience for his spirit with Jesus literally all aglow and the big-time prophets, Elijah and Moses, were not just standing there but having a conversation with Jesus! Peter was in the midst of the divine without any human limitations or barriers between him and this holy experience - why would you want to leave that?
In "the world," seeing the divine is not always easy. Visions like the one that Peter, James, and John shared on that mountain don't happen but rarely if at all. We have these barriers that both distract and keep us from fully engaging with God. We can blame the usuals for this: the love of money, all the injustice we see happening around the world, selfish people, etc... but sometimes these barriers aren't one of the fill-in-the-blank sins that we love to label - sometimes they're just the struggles of everyday life. It's hard to have a loving moment with God when you are struggling to pay the rent, trying desperately to connect with a child who continues to push you away, or even that frustrating pile of never-ending laundry that refuses to fold itself. Even if it's not someone or something that intentionally gets in the way of your fellowship with the Almighty, we can use everything from family tragedies to the mundane house-hold chores as an excuse or barrier that keeps us from knowing and experiencing the divine in our midst. While we're caught up in life, we can begin to get frustrated and ask ourselves the question, "Why can't all of this just get out of my way so I actually feel God's presence!"
That is one of the things that I really appreciate about church camp. I've come to see church camp - whether it be for elementary, high school, or retreat settings for adults - to be an intentional short-term discipleship community. It's a time where an environment with as little distractions from "the world" as possible is provided with the intent of helping the participants engage with God on a deeper level. (Looking at you, Facebook...) My youth group would refer to Sr. High Camp as a "mountain top experience," and one of the challenges for youth ministry was how to try to keep that momentum that many of the youth felt moving forward once they were back in a world with jobs, peer pressure, sometimes unstable home lives, etc... For this small amount of time, however, they could let down those walls and open themselves up for an encounter with the divine. It was at Sr. High Institute (church camp) that I first felt my calling into ministry. In so many ways, that felt like such a pure moment for me spiritually speaking.
As we work through the liturgical church calendar, moving from Advent and through the church season following epiphany is great as we get to learn and hear more about Jesus Christ and, if we really go for the gold star, pick up a thing or two that we can do to draw closer to Christ. Speaking from a liturgical standpoint, it culminates in the Son of God showing his Divinity directly to us human beings in this passage. But now we are moving into this season of Lent - and how do we move from this spiritually pure moment of engaging Christ so clearly to then confront ourselves and how we allow the world to give us all the excuses to NOT engage with God?
If we are to take Lent seriously, it will require us to be honest with ourselves concerning how and why we choose to run away from God. It requires us to be honest about the type of person that we really are in our present. Only when we have been honest about our actual condition can we then move on towards becoming the person that God made us to be in the first place. That kind of building doesn't happen without first gauging where our starting position actually is.
It wasn't until I read Rev. Derek Weber's preaching notes at umcdiscipleship.org that I had thought about Transfiguration Sunday as being a threshold between the season after Epiphany and Lent. Yet, in this gospel story, we see the transition happen within Peter from this desire to stay in the midst of a spiritual mountain top experience to realizing that it's not about staying up in the light all the time - it's about following (even carrying) that light even into the darkness. God tells Peter, "Listen to him [Jesus]!" with Jesus reassuring Peter, James, and John that they don't need to be afraid.
So yes, Lent can be scary for us if we practice the full honesty that is intended. But we don't need to be afraid. For one thing, God already knows, and somehow still wants to be in relationship with you! For another thing, we already have a guide to follow and listen to.
So this Lenten season, be willing to confront those barriers that stand between you and God. Some may be like a brick wall and obvious, while others might be more difficult to discern until you run into it like that glass wall into the sanctuary of my childhood church. Whatever they may be, may we learn what it is to carry that light we experience in Christ into the world and all its situations.